It's hit me finally

I expected for this to come earlier. When I moved to Santa Cruz, I felt good for about a month and then, suddenly as if lightening struck me, I felt terrible. I didn't leave my bed in weeks. I didn't talk to many people. I called my parents in histerics wanting to come home.

It hasn't hit me as hard this time. I'm sure that leaving home is the toughest move and every other there after hurts, but only fractionally in comparison...either way, I'm starting to feel very, very lonely. Because of my lonliness, I'm even more afraid to go out alone and I most certainly don't want to go out with Toño's friend's where I'll just be ridiculed behind my back and judged once I leave.

The only friends I have are Toño's brother and sister,
Paco

and Jimena



I wish I knew of some groups that I could join or something that I could do...I guess I'll just start wandering aound the city, feigning confidence in hope that someone invites me to something cool they are interested in.